This drives me mad. I used to work in a bookstore, and was talking to my coworker and he just yelled out “stop flirting with me!” at this ridiculous volume and it was humiliating because
1. I wasn’t
2. I got in trouble for acting unprofessional
3. He embarrassed me in front of a line of people
4. And he only stopped insisting that I was flirting when my boyfriend (who is now my husband) said, “dude, trust me, she’s not flirting with you” to him
That asshole respected my BOYFRIEND saying I wasn’t flirting more than he respected me saying it and I was the one who was talking! The whole scene got me in trouble at work. And the most ridiculous part is we were talking about a fucking book. In a bookstore.
One time, my ex boyfriend had a crush on some girl, and said that he thought he might have “a chance” with her.
When I asked him what made him think that, he said “Well, she talks to me.”
And this is why it is so difficult to be a girl and be friends with men who are attracted to women.
Can we also add that this is why a lot of women do the resting bitch face when out in public. Cause dudes swear a glance or a smile is flirting.
So yesterday something that perfectly illustrates this happened. I work at a fast food place and this guy comes in at 7am on a Sunday, still probably drunk from the night before, and when I smiled and said goodmorning he said “Did you just say that because you’re being paid to say that?”
I repressed my urge to sarcastically answer, and said “Nope, I just enjoy saying hi to everyone!” To which he responded, “Oh, so you weren’t flirting with me then.”
Dude, I’m not flirting with your gross 7am-on-a-Sunday-ass, trust me.
My defense mechanism when I’m uncomfortable at work is to smile, so I did that and said “Is there anything I can get you this morning?” to which he responded,
"There, you just smiled! What does that mean?"
At this point I was fed up, so I said,
"I smile at everyone sir, its just what I do. What can I get you, coffee, a bagel?"
And he said “I’m gonna be watching to see if you smile at everyone. I don’t like it when girls lie to me” and then ordered a coffee and a muffin like he hadn’t just said something at 11 on the “Is this guy a serial rapist” scale (where 0 is ‘no’ and 10 is ‘Yes, run away as fast as you can right now.”).
Then he sat there for another hour and a half, staring at me from his table. When he got up and left he came back to the counter, and said “You do smile at everyone. That’s fucked up.” and walked out.
I can’t even be innocuously polite and pleasant to people at my job (where customer service is the number one thing we are supposed to be focusing on) for fear of this shit happening. What happens if he had decided to wait until my shift was over?
New Rule: If she’s at work, SHE’S NOT FLIRTING WITH YOU.
there are a lot of good takeaways from this thread, but mainly it reinforces my belief that hitting on servers (especially women) while at work is all sorts of screwed up because emotional labor is a very big part of their job and reading too much into that is presumptuous as hell.
No one’s mentioned it in thread here (perhaps in the comments if I check?) but this is so rape culture it’s terrifying. Women must SO be available to all men all the time that ANY interaction between a woman and a man MUST equal flirting if it’s remotely pleasant or polite.
Which gets compounded with the hetero guys and girls can’t ‘just’ be friends and ‘don’t trust your girl if she’s friends with a guy’. Which some try to say is; ‘Oh I trust her, I just don’t trust him’. But the WHY of not trusting the guy is the same. The knowledge and awareness that women are meant to be available to all men at all times, until such time as a singular man stamps a claim on her and ‘good’ men will respect the ‘no trespassing’ sign.
And of course, this aspect of rape culture, this BEDROCK of rape culture explains ‘gay panic’ with hetero dudes. The thought that another guy could be interpreting anything polite or remotely pleasant THEY do as flirting…
The current era panic so high men and boys are throwing out that awful ‘no homo’ in order to ‘set the record straight’ - Pun intended. So much misogyny just embedded in culture.
One last note:
Expectation of Service From Black People - Particularly Black Women + Rape Culture Mentality That Lack of Hostility Means Flirting = Sexual Objectification + Harassment on a Monumental Scale.
Adventure time art collection by BOMBATTACK
One of the entries from the list ‘20 Things Everyone Thinks About the Food World (But Nobody Will Say)’. (via crankyskirt)
GO THE FUCK OFFFF
Why is it that people are willing to spend $20 on a bowl of pasta with sauce that they might actually be able to replicate pretty faithfully at home, yet they balk at the notion of a white-table cloth Thai restaurant, or a tacos that cost more than $3 each? Even in a city as “cosmopolitan” as New York, restaurant openings like Tamarind Tribeca (Indian) and Lotus of Siam (Thai) always seem to elicit this knee-jerk reaction from some diners who have decided that certain countries produce food that belongs in the “cheap eats” category—and it’s not allowed out. (Side note: How often do magazine lists of “cheap eats” double as rundowns of outer-borough ethnic foods?)
Yelp, Chowhound, and other restaurant sites are littered with comments like, “$5 for dumplings?? I’ll go to Flushing, thanks!” or “When I was backpacking in India this dish cost like five cents, only an idiot would pay that much!” Yet you never see complaints about the prices at Western restaurants framed in these terms, because it’s ingrained in people’s heads that these foods are somehow “worth” more. If we’re talking foie gras or chateaubriand, fair enough. But be real: You know damn well that rigatoni sorrentino is no more expensive to produce than a plate of duck laab, so to decry a pricey version as a ripoff is disingenuous. This question of perceived value is becoming increasingly troublesome as more non-native (read: white) chefs take on “ethnic” cuisines, and suddenly it’s okay to charge $14 for shu mai because hey, the chef is ELEVATING the cuisine.
Ermagerd stop… :3 on a real note though, I love bioshock. That game got me playing video games again after I had stopped for a number of years. I’m not much of a gamer but there are a few I will play for hours.
Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul thanking each other in their Emmy acceptance speeches
if you talk about girls in terms of their legality you are literally saying the only thing keeping your disgusting ass from trying to fuck a teenage girl is the threat of a prison sentence and that makes you 3000% trash get the fuck off this planet and launch yourself into the sun